
So today are my Gotcha Day. Eight years ago, my momma adopted me from da Petco. You'd think such a momentous IMPORTANT day would be celebrated. Wif bacon.
OKAY Angelique, bacon and nip. That girl is a total niphead.
I probably would have even been nice and let Bowie have some.
But NO, my day wuzn't celebrated. Instead, these weird dudes showed up and I got closed in grandma and grandpa's bedroom. Wif Bowie. And the DOGS! Ugh, that are no way to celebrate. And these dudes STOLE most of my stuff!!!
It are weird, they stole the sunroom couch, they stole that extra mattress that appeared in the living room a couple of weeks ago, they stole chairs, they stole the boxes we'd been playing in.
This is not how a Gotcha Day should be celebrated.

I mean, look. Here I are on my Gotcha Day eight years ago. Dis tiny lil dude deserves a better Gotcha Day than this.