New Year's Resolushuns

So, New Year's Resolushuns . . . not for me. As I said, I'm purrfect. But my momma could use some work. So wif da help of Bowie and Angelique, we came up wif some resolushuns for HER!

Da problem are - she are already breaking em!!

Here they were:

1. Bacon for cats EVERYDAY.  

Yup, already broken. We haven't gotten bacon at all this decade.

2. Every meal you eat should include something to share wif da cats.

Again, broken. We didn't get any cheese dip, any of her chicken sammich, any cereal, well, really, we has gotten NUFFIN.

3. Play wif the cats EVERYDAY. 

Ok, she's actually done this one. 

4. More cat bandanas (and hats for Travis!)

Nope, she hasn't made anything for us yet.

5. More cat paintings. There should be a gallery.

She SAYS she's starting a Bowie painting, but I don't see anything yet.

6. More naps. Wif cats.

Well, Bowie's momma did good on this one. My momma needs to learn to sleep more.

7. No more oohing and aahing over kittens online.

Yeah, she's broken this one too.

 

That's only one outta seven that she's kept and it's only the third!

We need to come up wif a plan to get her to keep our resolushuns.

Or else . . . 

Mew Year's Eve

Happy Mew Year's Eve y'all! I has been thinking - a lot of da peeps make resolushuns dis time of year. Well, I don't need resolushuns since I are purrfect. But my momma on da udder paw, she could use some help. So I are providin her wif some good resolushuns.

1. Bacon is a once-a-week MINIMUM treat. No eggscuses!   

2. More chikken livers for ME.

3. Less lookin at kittens online. Yeah, dey are "cute." But I are all da cat ya need. And if ya want more cat, you can feed me more.

4. Speakin of feeding me more, let's add in Third Breakfast.

5. And Second Lunch.

6. Nip - it are legalized everywhere, so I demands da chronic. 

7. More play time - dat means wand toys, throwin nip mousies, knockin jingle balls around for me.

8. More bandanas. I's a fashion forward kitty and I has a reputayshun to maintain.

9. Start appresheatin my vocalizayshuns more. Ya's lucky ya has a man(cat) willin to talk to you.

10. Stop calling yourself a crazy cat lady. You're no lady. 

But dat are not it. I also wrote resolushuns for da DAWG.

1. Cut it out wif da slobber. It are gross. We know how to clean ourselves, and don't need your spittle interfering.

2. Stop barkin at us. Ya is loud and annoying. Unlike me when I meow for breakfast five minutes after getting breakfast.

3. No more chasing us. Yeah, I'll rub on ya and den run away. I's a cat. I's entitled to change my mind.

4. You are MY dog. Dat are why I rub on you. Not cuz I like you or anything. Stop thinkin I does.

5. SHARE the food. Not my food - YOUR food.

6. I wuz here furst, so no hoggin da momma. 

7. Stop tellin everyone we is friends. Keep it on da D/L.

8. Learn how to groom yourself - you're a mess and momma has to spend way too much time taking care of ya.

9. Learn to sleep at momma's feet, not next to her. Ya don't deserve da primo real estate.    

Happy Mew Year! Bet momma and da DAWG starts breakin da resolushuns tomorrow.

Happy Mew Year!

Happy Mew Year y'all!

Since we is absolutely purrfect, we don't need Mew Year's Resolushuns.  Da same cannot be said for my momma.  She tried to come up wif some of her own (maintain her weight loss, draw more, figger out somefin to do wif her life, blah blah), but dey wuz not really good.  So me (along wif some help from Crockett and Angelique) came up wif some good ones.

1. Cook more bacon.  Y'all might think dis one are not gonna help her stay in shape.  Notice I did not say EAT more bacon.  Cook more bacon for da cats.
2. More playtime for cats.  
3. More head rubs for cats.
4. More time sewing cat bandanas and less time sewing dog dresses.
5. More time rubbing cat bellehs and less worrying.
6. Along wif more bacon, cook more shrimp, chikken, and fishies.  For da cats.
7. Be more gin-or-us.  Wif cheese, cat treats, bacon - ya know, for da cats.  Ya gets da idea.

Happy 2018 y'all!

Happy Mew Year!

Happy Mew Year!  We're all sick of 2016 - it wuz not a good year round here, what wif Whitley leavin us for dat big swimmin pool in da sky.  

Yeah, Crockett has it right, 2016 deserves a big razzberry!  At least we ended it on a high note - we finally got some bacon!

We would come up wif resolushuns, but since we is cats, we is already pretty much purrfect.

So here are some resolushuns for da udder family members.

1.  Kinley - stop chasing cats.  Seriously.  It's not fun, we don't like it, and we have claws and know how to use em.
2.  Brinley - cut out the eggsessive barkin.   It's annoyin.  My endless meowin should be da background noise around here.
3.  Finley - try sharin treats wif da cats.  Ya just might like it,
4.  Da mommas (and daddy) - more pets, more playtime, more treats, and most importantly - MORE BACON.  It really should be a daily thing.  Whaddya mean daily bacon duzn't go wif da gettin in shape resolshun ya already got??  Round are a shape ya know.  Besides, it's even better if ya don't eat da bacon - just make it for da cats!!

Happy 2017 y'all!

Happy Mew Year!

Happy Mew Year to all our pals!  We's rockin our Calvin collars and all ready to snag some tasty noms!  Here's hopin 2016 brings ya lotsa bacon, shrimpies, chikken, turkey, and all dat good stuff!

We's been workin on our Mew Year's resolushuns, here are mine.

1. Eat more bacon.
2. Figger out how to open da fridge.
3. Work on findin new hidey holes, momma keeps discoverin mine.
4. Get my momma to make me more bandanaramas, I like bein a sharp-dressed man.
5. Steal more foods.  Turkey legs, shrimpies, bacon, steaks, I's plannin some major league heists!
6. Get momma to keep da Christmas lights up year round.  I luv my lights.

And da King of Razzberries, Crockett has resolushuns too.

1. Stick my tongue out more.
2. Make everyday a Razzberry Day.
3. Get momma just to give me her pillow.
4. Get Finley to get da hell off of momma's lap so I can sit there!  Of figger out how to put her in a coma so I can lay on top of her, dogs are roasty toasty in da winter.
5. Get more trackball toys.

Angelique has resolushuns too:

1. Bite and scratch more.
2. Claim da top of da cat tree as my bacon poshishun.
3. Work on makin my meow sound even more tiny and pathetical.
4. Steal Crockett from Travis for once and for all.

Here's hopin your 2016 are purrfect!!!